This week found me down at the Adobe Technology Center for training for my new role at work.   There were ten of us from around the country gathered for this particular training course, all in all four days. It was a fun group of people. Most of us would sit together at lunch. I think that experience kind of opened my eyes a little bit just because I realized how much time I spend with people with my same values and culture. It’s just kind of a natural result of working where I do.

So here I was with people from across the country, with different values and different experiences. I found myself listening and watching others closely as many of those small cultural assumptions or values weren’t there to start a relationship or communicate effectively with.

I was listening closely to find where I could relate and build common ground–I was playing the part of social anthropologist, and being in this foreign social environment, I really started to notice both in me and those of the class patterns I don’t think I would have readily picked up on otherwise.

Regardless of the topic at hand, each of us had different things we went back to on a regular basis. It was our personal-cultural center, something or a few things that we volunteered as self-defining. I found myself learning from these people, and learning about myself in the process. One example in particular stands out.

One member of our class was divorced, and her contributions to our lunch discussions almost undoubtedly involved her ex-husband. She was assertive and maybe even a little headstrong, but when she wasn’t the bitter angry type of divorce. It was more of a disappointment but almost nostalgic. Like hopes for something wonderful never materialized and it hurt so bad she finally had to step away.

I admit that when I was younger, I was quick in my mind to make assumptions about those marriages who end in divorce that weren’t kind. I think a lot of that changed with my own marriage and understanding how complicated and intricate a marriage is. Your whole soul goes in, so much trust goes in and if that gets violated in some way… it’s so sad to even think about. So as this woman presented over the week the little snippets of her story that found their way back to him, I recalled the emotion and feelings that are the center of my conversations–those things that define me. I found an understanding–what I hope was the beginning of empathy–for this woman.

We See Through the Glass Darkly

What I hope I experienced, in a small measure was something the Bible and Book of Mormon describe as the pure love of Christ, Charity. It was a chance to ‘think no evil’ and not to ‘seek my own.’ It was a chance to ‘not vaunt myself’ compared to this woman, to use the phrases Paul uses. It was a chance to seek truth; to seek hope.

Paul also said we can’t see in the glass (the mirror) clearly. We simply don’t see the full picture. But sometimes God gives us enough of a glimpse before we do or think or say something regrettable. I feel like that’s what I learned this week, spending time with these great people. Beyond that, I hope that with more glimpses, my patience, brotherly kindness, knowledge, humility and diligence can increase. If I can be true to what I see in those glimpses then He’ll know that He can trust me do the right thing, and nothing would bring greater peace and joy than to know that my feeble efforts in this regard were accepted by Him.